Ten Things Jamie Learned
by ninewood
Summary: Little stories about Jamie McCrimmon and what he learned while traveling with the Doctor.


**One: Make Yourself Clear When Trying To Tell Someone Something.**

Polly walked down the hallway when she saw Jamie coming the other way and he was walking quickly as though he was in a hurry.

"Please let me make it," mumbled Jamie, looking around.

"Jamie, are you all right?" asked Polly as he stopped and looked upset.

"Aye, Miss Polly, I…"

"Oh, please, I told you to call me "Polly"."

"Polly, I need tae go," said Jamie, gently bouncing up and down.

"Why are you doing that?"

"Please, I really need tae GO!"

"You want to go somewhere?"

"No, I dinnae need tae go anywhere! I need tae GO!" said Jamie as she tried to figure out what he was talking about then understood and smiled.

"Oooooooooooooooooooh, you need to go to the bathroom!"

"Not anymore," said Jamie as they looked down and Polly gasped.

"I'll go get a mop," said Polly as she went down the hallway and he sighed then stepped over the puddle and went into his room, closing the door behind him.

**Two: Don't Forget To Close The Door.**

The bathroom door opened as Jamie walked inside and headed for the shower. He was covered head to toe with dirt and soot as he sighed and placed the toilet lid down, sitting on it. He removed his boots as he placed them on the floor and removed his socks. Standing up, he walked to the shower when he turned the water on and bushed the buttons to set the water temperature. He was glad that the Doctor had shown him how to set it as he walked to the closet and removed a large towel and a washcloth and placed them on the toilet lid. He got undressed then picked up the soap, washcloth and shampoo and stepped into the shower, closing the door. He placed the shampoo on the shelf as he started to wash himself and heard the soft sound of bagpipes. He softly sang a song as he washed his chest and the steam swirled around him. A few minutes later he walked out of the bathroom, wearing only a towel, as he headed for the wardrobe and opened the door. Removing a clean shirt, boots and a kilt, he walked to the bed and placed them on the bed. He walked to the dresser when he took out a pair of socks and walked to the bed.

"Jamie, where are…?" asked Zoe when she walked into the doorway and he turned, looking at her. He yelped, covering himself with the shirt and she smiled.

"Go away!" shouted Jamie as he walked to her and slammed the door. He sighed as he shook his head, smiling, and went to get dressed.

**Three: Remember To Always Wear Something Under Your Kilt.**

"Jamie?" called Victoria's voice and Jamie looked up.

'No! Nae now!' thought Jamie.

"Jamie, where are you?"

'Please, dinnae let her see me like this!'

Landing on the planet Vannallia, Jamie had decided to take a walk and ended up caught in a snare. Hanging upside, he tried to get himself free but only made himself dizzy from spinning around on the rope tied to his ankles.

"James Robert McCrimmon, you better not be hiding somewhere so you can jump out and scare me!"

'Och, I really wish I was.'

Looking at the bushes, Jamie silently prayed when the bushes parted and Victoria walked into the glade.

"Ja…Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" shouted Victoria, covering her eyes.

"Victoria, why are you…?" asked the Doctor, walking into the glade and his eyes went wide. "Oh, my giddy aunt, how did that happen?!"

"Um, well, I seem tae have gotten caught in some sort of trap. Can you PLEASE get me down?!" asked Jamie, his face redder now that he was blushing. Nodding, the Doctor walked to where the snare was tied to the tree and, with help from Victoria, gently lowered Jamie to the ground. Victoria had found his dirk on the ground as he used it to cut the snare, tossing it to one side. Standing up, they walked out of the glade and the Doctor leaned his head towards Jamie.

"Now do you understand the importance of underpants?" whispered the Doctor.

"Aye, I do," said Jamie, looking back at Victoria. "And, believe me, this is one time I'm glad I wore them!"

**Four: When Someone Tells You That You Are Cute, You're Cute.**

"All right, Jamie, get on the table," said the Doctor while Jamie carefully got onto the examination table and the Doctor looked at the dressing wrapped around his right knee and untied the knot. Jamie looked at the ceiling while the Doctor checked the wound and Jamie blinked.

"Doctor, can I ask you something?" asked Jamie, sitting up on his elbows.

"Of course, dear boy, what is it?"

"Well, you see, while I was in the hospital, the nurses kept coming into my room. They said that they were just there to make sure that I was all right but they showed up every half hour or so. Now, dinnae get me wrong, I liked the company but it got annoying after a bit. And, if I got up, they would make me get back into bed. It did hurt tae walk on my leg but it wasnae that bad."

"I see."

"Why did they do that?"

"Well, maybe the reason was the nurses found you…"

"Found me what?" asked Jamie while the Doctor placed a new bandage around Jamie's knee and Jamie sat up on the examination table.

"They might have found you cute and didn't want you to leave."

"They thought I was…cute?!" asked Jamie with a stunned look on his face. Walking into the room, Zoe walked to the table and he looked at her. "Zoe, do you think I'm cute?"

"Of course you're cute," said Zoe, patting his knee and his eyes went wide. "Oh, Jamie, I'm sorry!"

"Zoe?" asked Jamie as he tried not to scream.

"Yes?"

"Run," said Jamie as she ran out of the room and he got off of the examination table and limped out of the room. Softly laughing, the Doctor shook his head and left the room, heading down the hallway.

**Five: Always Read The Direction When You're Doing Something.**

The door opened while Jamie walked into the room and was carrying a laundry basket in his hands. He knew that the TARDIS cleaned his clothes for him but he wanted to do his own laundry and placed the basket on the floor. Polly had shown him how to use the washer as he opened the lid and looked inside, making sure there were no clothes inside, then placed his shirts, socks, underwear and kilts into the washer. Looking around, he found the bottle of laundry detergent and opened the bottle. He poured some of the detergent into the washer then some more, a little more, a little more then placed the lid back on the bottle, putting the bottle back on the shelf. Pushing the buttons, he heard the water going into the washer and sat on the table, swinging his legs back and forth. Suddenly the washer made a loud gurgling sound as he looked at it and the washer started shaking.

"Uh-oh," said Jamie when the lid of the washer popped up and down and soapsuds oozed out of the washer. "No! Nononononononononono!"

Jamie tried to shove the soapsuds back into the washer as the soapsuds trickled down the front of the washer and spread across the floor. Jamie started pounding on the washer as he pushed buttons and the soapsuds started filling the room, making him pound harder on the washer.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" shouted Jamie as the soapsuds started inching up his hips and he climbed onto the dryer, trying to get away from them. In a few minutes the soapsuds had come over the top of the washer and dryer as he tried to find somewhere to go and his heart slammed against his ribs. He knew that the only thing he could do was try to reach the door and looked at the sea of soapsuds. Sighing, he dived off the dryer into the soapsuds when he came up covered in them and wiped his eyes, trying to see where the door was. He pushed the soapsuds out of the way as he headed for the door when he stood in front of it and tried to get the door open. He pounded on the door as he shouted for help when the door opened and the soapsuds tumbled out into the hallway. The Doctor glared at him as Jamie shrugged then walked down the hallway and the Doctor sighed, rolling his eyes.

**Six: Go Ahead And Kiss The Girl.**

Should he?

Shouldn't he?

He knew he was crushed when Anita only kissed the Doctor, not his Doctor but the other one, but not him.

Seeing that he and his Doctor were leaving, he thought it would be nice to kiss Peri.

But they had only just met and it wasn't proper to just…

'_Oh, the heck with it!' _thought Jamie as he said goodbye to her, shaking her hand, and gave her a quick little kiss on the cheek. Smiling, he said goodbye to the Doctor then walked into the TARDIS and headed for the console. His Doctor came inside a few minutes later as he closed the door and looked at him.

"And what was that all about?" asked the Doctor, walking to him.

"What was what all aboot?" asked Jamie.

"You kissing whatever her name was," said the Doctor.

"Her name is Peri," said Jamie, leaning against the console.

"Well, what possessed you to kiss her?"

"I just wanted tae kiss her."

"Since when have you wanted to do that? You never did before."

"I just wanted tae. Truth be told, Peri isn't the first companion I've kissed."

"Who was the first?"

"Polly…an' we did more than just kiss."

"What?!" asked the Doctor as Jamie smiled, leaving the room, and the Doctor blinked.

**Seven: Never Be Afraid To Learn New Things.**

Jamie walked down the hallway when he heard music coming from the living room and peeked inside the room. Victoria was moving to the music as he watched her and leaned on the doorframe. She looked like a graceful fairy, moving in slow circles, and he blinked. He knew that he was attracted to her but also knew that it was wrong to feel that way because she would never want someone like him.

'_Would she?' _thought Jamie when he heard her call his name and looked at her.

"Are you all right" asked Victoria as she walked to him and he looked down at his feet.

"Aye, I'm fine, what are you doing?" asked Jamie.

"I was dancing. Would you like to join me?"

"Um, I dinnae really ken how tae dance. I mean I can do the Highland fling but that's it."

"Then I'll teach you," said Victoria, taking his hand and they walked to the center of the room. She looked at him as he shyly smiled and she placed her hand on his hip.

"Are you sure you should be doing that?" asked Jamie, looking down.

"Yes, now, you place your hand on my hip."

"Och, no, that's nae proper!" said Jamie as he backed up and she giggled.

"It's all right," said Victoria as she placed her hand back on his hip and he carefully did the same. She took his hand as she looked into his eyes and soft music started playing. She explained when to do as they moved in small circles around the room and he smiled. She explained how to twirl her as he did and she moved a little closer. The music drifted around them as they danced and he felt his heart thumping against his ribs.

'_You are so beautiful,' _thought Jamie as she moved closer and he looked deeply in her eyes. He felt himself swimming in her eyes when she moved closer and gently kissed his lips. Both were shocked as they moved apart and blushed.

"You, um, you are a very good dancer," stuttered Victoria then left the room and he watched her go. Sighing, he brushed the bangs out of his eyes when he realized that he kissed her and smiled, walking out of the room.

**Eight: When In Doubt, Nod.**

Walking into to lab, Jamie saw Zoe sitting in front of the table and was working on something. Knowing that he shouldn't ask, Jamie walked to the table and watched her. After a few minutes, Zoe looked at him as he placed his head in hand and looked at the formula she had written on the pad.

"So, what is all this?" asked Jamie, pointing to the pad.

"You wouldn't understand it," said Zoe.

"Then explain it tae me."

Zoe started explaining as he listened and gently nodded his head every now and then. After she finished, she left the lab and the Doctor walked inside, heading for the table. He had been watching them as he sat down next to Jamie and Jamie looked at the pad.

"You have no idea what she was talking about, do you?" asked the Doctor and Jamie grinned at him.

"Sure I do," said Jamie as he left the room and headed down the hallway. He softly laughed as he headed for the kitchen and knew when he was in doubt just nod and pretend that he knew what they were talking about.

**Nine: Even If It Looks Interesting, Don't Eat It.**

Walking down the street, Ben and Jamie looked around the stalls and Jamie was surprised by all the different types of things the people were selling. They had arrived in twentieth century Tokyo and Polly and the Doctor were looking into why some of the people had fallen into a mysterious coma. Ben looked at something in one of the stalls as Jamie knelt down to pat a stray dog and Ben tapped his back, making him stand up.

"Here you go, Mate," said Ben, holding up a stick with something on it and Jamie frowned.

"What is it?" asked Jamie.

"Just take one," said Ben as he handed the stick to Jamie and Jamie sniffed it. Shrugging, he placed one of what was on the stick in his mouth and chewed. He made a face when something popped in his mouth then swallowed and Ben smiled at him.

"Nae bad," said Jamie, taking another one off the stick and ate it. They walked down the pavement, nibbling on what was on the stick, when Jamie stopped and looked at Ben. "What are these?"

"Oh, they're crickets," said Ben.

"Crickets?! I just ate…That was a…?!"

Ben never knew Jamie could turn so many different shades of green as he ran into an alley and got sick behind a trash bin. Laughing, Ben went to help him as he placed the sticks into the trash can and walked into the alley.

**Ten: In The End, The Doctor Will Be There.**

"He's in there," said a female's voice as he opened his eyes and blinked. He listened as someone walked into the room and gently sat on the edge of the bed. He could just see the dark wild hair as he blinked and saw a pair of sad brown eyeslooked back at him.

"Hello, Jamie," said the Doctor as he took his hand and wrapped his long fingers around his.

"Who are you?" asked Jamie with a weak voice.

"I'm a friend," said the Doctor.

"I'm sorry but my memory isnae what it was. When did we meet?"

"It was a long time ago. So, how are you?"

"I'm dying. The doctor said that my heart's giving out."

"Ah," said the Doctor, nodding.

"Will you hand me that?" asked Jamie, pointing to a framed picture on the night table. The Doctor reached over and handed the frame to him and he looked at the people in the picture.

"Who are they?"

"That's me, my wife, Annie, an' my children. The others are of my grandchildren. My Annie died three years ago. I guess I'll be seeing her soon."

The Doctor saw the sadness in his eyes as he nodded and placed the frame back on the night table.

"Do you want tae ken something?"

"What?" asked the Doctor, taking his hand.

"Ever since the Battle of Culloden, I've had this feeling like something is missing. I used tae have these weird dreams aboot going tae the moon an' these weird beasties. But the strangest bit was there was wee clever man, who had this blue box, an' he'd take me tae the most amazing places."

The Doctor nodded when he gently placed his hands on the sides of Jamie's head and Jamie blinked. Hushing him, the Doctor locked eyes with him and Jamie felt a buzz in his head. Blinking several times, he looked at the Doctor and tears trickled down his face.

"Doctor?" asked Jamie and the Doctor sadly smiled.

"Yes, Jamie?"

"Thank you," sighed Jamie as he closed his eyes and sighed. The Doctor placed his hand on Jamie's chest then scooped him into his arms and held him.

"Goodbye, my darling boy," said the Doctor, rocking him, and tears trickled down his cheeks.

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The End…


End file.
